The Wasteland Life Guide
by NekyuToi
Summary: My greatest creation is complete: The Wasteland Survival Guide! I know it's a great book and all, and everyone who has read it has told me so - yet it felt as if there was something missing from it. Thus began my new adventure, to continue with The Wasteland Life Guide!
1. Chapter 1

The Wasteland Life Guide

Revised Edition

Chapter One: I'm Not Content

Just another ordinary morning in Megaton; I woke up from that smelly mattress that never seemed clean (no matter how many times I sponged it down with turpentine) and opened up my shop. As I gazed around it, it still seemed dirty, just like the mattress! I really didn't want it open in this state, but there wasn't anything I could do; just like everything in Megaton it looked so decrepit! As I prepared for another day by sweeping up the metal floor with a broom I found lying around outside, my bodyguard entered. He never actually told me his name, but he seemed strong enough to look after the shop, and he didn't ask for too many caps; I suspect he had a thing for me! Only the other day I caught him looking at me when I was talking to someone about human body parts.

"Hey, Moira." he said to me, as he took his regular place on the wall.

"Hello, there!" I replied, as sweetly as possible. He wasn't really my type, as he had blood all over his clothes, and that gun looked positively ghastly! He looked after the shop pretty well, though. Once, I had a burglar in the middle of the day (would you believe it) and he shot him right in the head! I had fun that day: a test-subject I didn't have to scout for!

This particular day was rather boring for me, as it had begun to rain outside. Not that lovely, relaxing rain you used to see, but horrible acid rain! So there were absolutely no customers, just me and my un-named shopguard, bumbling about, bored out of our wits. I could see the tediousness of the day was getting to him, too: his eyes and head were getting heavier! I decided to keep myself occupied though, and read a little through my Wasteland Survival Guide. It was my one pride and joy, next to my supply shop. It told you everything on how to stay alive in these awful ruins of America. I must have read it around twenty times now! As I reached the end of the last chapter on how to milk Brahmins, a little sensation at the back of my mind was niggling me; the guide felt a little incomplete.

Now, I'm not one to be fussy! The Guide I wrote with the help of an assistant (who is miraculously still alive) was wonderful, but there may be other things I could add. All this guide teaches you to do is survive, and there are so many things that life can offer you! I can just see it now... The Wasteland Life Guide! It would be a marvellous addition to the Survival Guide, and I could write it by myself! Gazing over at my shop's bodyguard, who was now fast asleep, I thought of his obvious feelings towards me, and it gave me the inspiration for the first chapter of the Life Guide... Love!

Love would be the perfect first chapter; it could teach you about how to deal with relationships in the wasteland; how to cope with your feelings when danger is all around you! How exciting! Throwing my broom on the floor, I ran over to the door of my shop and peered outside the window; luckily, the acid rain appeared to be letting up. My bodyguard, who heard the noise I made, was now awake.

"What's going on..?" he asked, half-awake.

"Oh..." I replied, wondering whether I should tell him about my new guide. "I'm just heading out for a little bit! Will you be okay on your own?"

Immediately I felt silly for asking him this, as he looked down at his assault rifle. He looked at me like I was a child, so I simply smiled at him and walked over to the counter; I needed a few things before I headed outside. Ducking my head behind the counter, I picked up my notepad, a black pen and a silenced pistol incase of accidents! I glanced outside the window and noticed it had finally stopped raining. It was time to start my new guide!

-

As I left the shop, I took in a big gulp of the afternoon air! I instantly regretted it though. Hacking and coughing, and even vomiting a little over the railing, I had temporarily forgotten about the disgusting, irradiated air that had enveloped the land. I wouldn't be doing that again! Honestly, I could be so forgetful sometimes! I cast my eye over the town, and wondered where I should start to garner information for my first chapter of the Life Guide. Thinking the Saloon would be a good place, as that was where most people gather to drown their sorrows, I skipped happily over there with a smile on my face. Boy, was it a good day! Pushing the door to the Saloon open, the odour of cigarette smoke whacked me full forced in the face. Coughing weakly, I brushed it away as I would a fly and proceeded to sit down at the bar. Gob, the barkeep, approached me, and I smiled at him. His face didn't disgust me as it did others, for I had seen worse.

"Hey, Gob!" I greeted him, as cheerfully as I could. He didn't seem very happy, as usual. Everytime I saw him I said whatever I could to make him jolly, but I was on a mission to write my new guide!

"Hi, Moira. What will it be today?" he pulled up a bottle of wine from beneath the counter, but I shooed it away. I needed a clear head!

"No thanks! Just a bottle of water!"

He sat the water on the counter, and I put the caps in his hand.

"Not running the shop?" he asked me. I turned red, not knowing what to say; I wanted to keep the guide a surprise from others.

"Well... I needed a holiday, you know? I've been working so hard!" I lied. He grunted, and went off to serve some Nova, the resident lady of the evening. She looked at me as if I were something she stepped in. It was probably because we didn't really speak that often; I only ever conversed with her when she needed condoms, but they were very hard to come by. Seeing her gave me an idea for the guide; as she was a prostitute she probably saw a lot of men.

"Nova!" I called out. She glanced over at me and then sighed, looking back at her drink. I wouldn't give up, though! Getting up from my stool, I went over to her table and sat down uninvited. She looked up from her glass of vodka but didn't speak. "Hey, Nova, how're you doing?" I asked her, as sweetly as possible.

"What do you want?" she asked, rather rudely.

"Oh, nothing... I was just wondering if you'd answer a few questions!"

It was a simple request; it was not as if I were asking her to donate her organs!

"I'm busy right now." she responded, gulping her vodka down as if it were water.

"Oh, really? I don't see any men here." I joked. She did not looked amused.

"That's because you're here."

Ouch!

"Look, it won't take long." I promised. It wouldn't really. I didn't see why she was being such a silly-billy.

"Listen, sweetie." she started, swaying in her chair by the effects of alcohol. "Did you get any of those... plastic protectors in yet...?"

I thought about what she said for a moment... did she mean condoms...?

"I, uh... they are really hard to come by.." I laughed, quietly.

"Well, honey, my business is really slow without them, so you can ask me all the questions you want if you give me some."

As I stood up from the table where Nova was, I felt a little annoyed. Not terribly annoyed, but irritated that I had to find some condoms just to get that prostitute to contribute to the new guide I was writing. Where on Earth would I start to look for them? I had no assistant to go out into the Wasteland to find them, so it seemed I would have to do it myself. I thought about where they would be, and cast my mind back to when an un-named man came by and helped with the original guide. He went to the Super Duper Mart near Megaton... perhaps there would be some condoms there?

-

I suddenly felt very stupid as I left the gates of Megaton and ran in the direction of Super Duper Mart using an old map from the shop I bought ages ago. I wasn't useless with a gun, so it wouldn't be too dangerous if I ran into trouble, but all this for... rubbers! As I traversed the rocky road to the supermarket I tripped over a stupid rock in the ground and fell. It really hurt, and I yelled out in pain! Unfortunately, it seemed there was a pair of raiders nearby that heard me. As I looked up from the floor I was concealed by a large boulder, so they hadn't seen me yet, but I could hear them yelling.

"I'm gonna fuckin' find you!" one screamed; it sounded like a woman. Trembling with fear, I stayed where I was for a second and unholstered my silenced pistol. Raising to my head, I rised into a crouching position. Suddenly, I felt like laughing. It was a funny situation I had found myself in; risking death to find condoms would make a great passage for the guide!

Picking up a small rock from the ground, I threw it around 20 feet away from me. They didn't shoot at it, so they weren't armed with guns. But the woman showed herself, and ran towards it. How silly! Aiming for her head, I let out a shot. What a bad shot I am! It only hit her in the back, so she hit the ground. I had the feeling she was still alive, so I didn't approach her. Anyway, the other raider was still out there.

"You fucking cunt!" he shouted. He knew where I was now, so I stood up and aimed from where I heard the voice. My whole body coursed with adrenaline from the fray, and I saw him in full view. He was wearing some dirty armour, which was stained with blood. His expression was pure rage, and he was brandishing a silly little bonesaw which was turned on and making the most awful noise. Standing around 10 feet away from me, if I wasn't holding a gun I would be dead in around 5 seconds at the speed he was doing. Luckily, my aim was a little better now as the trembling had stopped. I aimed for his leg and let out a shot. The bullet exploded his knee and he fell down. Then I unloaded another bullet, this time in his head. There was a pretty fountain of blood with dots of brain matter that ended his life. I felt bad for the female raider, who was still alive after only being shot in the back, so I ran over to her and shot her in the head. I didn't really want to chance any more raiders happening by, so I continued on my way to Super Duper Mart after holstering my weapon.

Eventually, at around 4p.m., I reached the large supermarket. It was pretty run-down. Somebody should fire the cleaners, that's for sure! Then again, you could say that about my shop! Smiling at my luck for not chancing upon more raiders, I ambled inside the building and held my breath as darkness enveloped me. Really, it was so dark I could barely see in front of me! Remembering that it took a while for the human eye to adjust to light, I stood still for a while, hardly breathing at all. After a time, my eyes did adjust, but only a tiny bit, so I could see enough not to bump into very large objects, but not well enough to make out a packet of condoms. If only I had taken up smoking, I could use a cigarette lighter! Feeling very sad and disappointed for having come all this way for nothing, I stepped back outside into the daylight, right into another fight.

This time, the raiders weren't trying to kill and mutilate me, they were trying to kill some man that I couldn't quite make out since the sun was in my eyes. Pulling out my gun that I might help him, I hid behind a dustbin and fired some, if I may say, well-aimed shots towards the raiders. The shots didn't kill them, but it hit their legs and arms, slowing them down enough for my un-named partner to finish them off. After the slaughter had been done, I holstered my weapon and approached him. He lit up a cigarette and turned my way.

"What the hell are you doin'?!" he shouted at me; I was taken quite aback! Then I realised who it was; it was Jericho! That weird old man who lived in Megaton!

"Sorry, Mr. Violence!" I replied, with a smile on my face.

"Oh, it's you. Don't you run that little shop?" he snapped. He dragged on a cheap little cigarette. I imagined my eyes were little x-rays, and I envisaged the smoke floating down into his lungs. I wanted a cigarette too, after that battle!

"Silly! It's rather big compared to the other shops! And my name's Moira! You've bought from me before... Jericho."

"Whatever, Moira." He said my name as if it were a joke. "I don't need a lil' girl's help when I'm gettin' action."

"Silly! You could have gotten killed!" I replied. He gave me such a weird look, I turned red and looked away.

"You'd regret sayin' that if you were anyone else but the shop owner in Megaton." he replied, a sinister tone in his voice. I quickly shook of my fear and tried to brighten up the mood.

"So, what are you doing _all_ the way out here?" I asked, cheerfully. He didn't reply, just began to walk away. However, the smoke drifting from his cigarette gave me an idea. He obviously had a lighter, and I needed some form of light source to investigate the Super Duper Mart.

"Hey, wait!" I called on after him. He didn't stop, so I walked on alongside him. "May I borrow your lighter?" I pleaded, as sweetly as possible.

"No!" he spat, bitterly.

"Pretty please?"

"Forget it! Now scram, before I do something you regret!"

"I'll buy it from you!" I replied, fetching my purse.

"1000 caps." he demanded. My eyes widened; I sold lighters for 10 caps!

"No way! I heard people hire you for 1000 caps!" I responded, boldly. Then an idea hit me. Floating off in what people would call my own little world, I glanced down at my ammo clip belt; it only held around 30 clips, and I was very much down. I could only fend off so many raiders in returning home, and who knew what Super Duper Mart held for me? I had quite a lot of caps in my purse, and in my bra. If I had someone like Jericho on my side... an... assistant... it would be a great advantage. What if someone else, apart from the hooker, demanded I give them something in return for information?

"Wait." I commanded. "I'll give you 1000 caps in return for your services as a companion. There's a lot of things need shooting!" I tried to make the deal sound as sweet as possible. "In my line of work it's real dangerous!"

He seemed to dwell on the idea.

"Real dangerous, huh." he whispered to himself, the smoke lingering above his head.

"_Real_ dangerous. Once, I had this super mutant who escaped from his cage. I tried to mate him with-"

"OK!" he cried, cutting me off. "1000 caps, and a 50% discount from your shitty store." he demanded. My mouth gaped open. He turned to face me, and closed my mouth shut with a light tap of his hand. Taking my purse, he took 1000 caps and holstered his AK47. Then he handed me his lighter. I snatched it from him.

"Fine!" I sighed, pouting as much as I could, to show my anger! I wasn't angry really, all I sold was junk! Grabbing him by the arm, I dragged him to Super Duper Mart.

"Let go of me, you crazy freak!" he cried. Ignoring his outcries I entered the store, lugging him behind me.

So there I was, inside the store again, only this time with a trained killer alongside me. It was just as cold and dark as before though, but this time I felt a little bit less scared.

"What did you need my lighter for anyway?" he said, in his weird accent.

"I can't see anything, silly. I'm looking for something here." I replied, squinting through the darkness. I opened the Zippo lighter up and struck the flint, illuminating the darkness; the small flame hardly helped at all, but at least I could see the shelves when I got up close.

"Hey, crazy." he sighed. I turned around, about to tell him not to call me 'crazy' when bright lights came on all around me. It appeared that there was a light switch.

"How silly of me!" I laughed, closing the Zippo lighter.

"Some fucking pigs to kill!" some gruff voices called behind us; we had stirred some raiders deep within the store.

"Well done!" Jericho shouted at me.

"You did it!" I called back.

"Get down!" he cried back, pushing me into a wall. I fell down in pain as my back hit a potruding metal bracket; but managed to find some strength to hide behind some rubble. As I crawled beneath the crumbled wall, all I heard around me were shouting and the firing of guns. If I weren't in so much pain in the lower back, I would have loved to join in; firearms always fascinated me. Right now, however, I worried about Jericho. It would have been such a waste of money if he had died! Closing my eyes and covering my ears I waited for the sounds of guns to cease.

A few minute passed, and the noise stopped. Taking a Stimpak out of my breast pocket, I tightly wound a strap around the top of my arm and injected it slowly. The pain was washed away by a lovely tide of relief, and in a few second I was on my feet again. Taking the strap off and casting the used Stimpak away I glanced around the wall; nothing but dead bodies on the floor. Sighing, I gave Jericho up for dead. Suddenly, I heard awful wretching behind me. Spinning around, it was Jericho! A different kind of relief washed over me; I almost ran over to hug him, but he looked at me like I was Brahmin poo, so I stayed where I was and smiled.

"What?" he spat. "Thought I was dead? You could be more help instead of lying on your arse all day."

I felt really angry when he said that.

"You pushed me into a sticky-out thingy that really hurt!" I shouted. "How could I fight when in pain!"

"You get used to it kid!" he replied, lighting another cigarette. I said nothing, but left him as I went deeper into the now brightly-lit store.

"What are you lookin' for anyway?" he asked, as he followed behind me. I didn't really know what to say, so I just told the truth, face turning red.

"Uh... ahem. Condoms."

After coughing wildly, he laughed and said: "We hardly know each other, kid!"

"Don't flatter yourself." I replied, holding my head up as high as I could; to be honest, I felt really embarrassed. Here was I, alone with a guy, and he was suggesting such lewd things! I put such thoughts out of my head immediately and focused on finding the... subjects in question.

It took longer than I thought it would, because, silly me, I was looking in all the wrong places. Jericho, the dunderhead that he was, didn't tell me that condoms weren't kept on shelves, but rather at the pharmacy section where the cigarettes were kept. I could have slapped him silly! I didn't know what he thought, that I hadn't an idea where condoms were sold in shops. After 'borrowing' a batch of around one hundred packets of condoms, we left the supermarket after turning off the lights. Jericho thought it was amusing to shoot out all the windows thought. I just thought it would attract attention to ourselves.

I don't know whether it was because they thought we were dangerous, but we weren't attacked by raiders on the way home to Megaton. It was rather uncomfortable on the way back though; we hardly spoke to each other! I had a thousand things to ask him, due to his profession of being an ex-Raider, but I didn't know where to start. And he wasn't really much of a conversationalist. He caught me looking at him a few times though, and he said:

"What are you lookin' at, kid?"

I really hated it when he called me 'kid', but I didn't say anything. He looked like any other guy in Megaton; he had a shaved head, with a brown goatee and leater armour. For some reason he wore Biker Googles, but I didn't ask why. I would assume it was to keep the smoke out of his eyes when he had a cigarette lodged in his mouth. I did try to get on his 'level', and asked him for a cigarette. To my surprise he gave me one! However, I coughed and spluttered, and he laughed at me. I felt so silly! The rest of the journey was silent, and we reached Megaton at around 8p.m., just before the sun went down completely!

-

As we entered Moriarty's Saloon, I felt totally exhausted! I sat down at the nearest table, half expecting Jericho to sit down next to me, but he just sat at the bar and rudely ordered a whiskey. Sighing, I noticed Nova was stood up at the other side of the bar.

"Nova!" I cried out. "I got those condoms you wanted!"

Her eyes widened, and she rushed over towards me. She looked like she was going to slap me, but instead sat down angrily, another vodka in her hand.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she whispered vehemently. I recoiled back with a smirk. Reaching into my breast pocket I pulled out 10 packets of condoms and set them on the table. She was about to pick them up when I slammed by hands down on them to prevent her doing so.

"Nu-uh!" I smiled. "Not until you give me the information that I want!"

Her eyes were like daggers as she leant back on her chair and sipped at her drink.

"Fine." she spat. "What do you want to know?"

Flipping out my pad, I started taking notes as I fired questions at her. Some of her responses were really interesting. She told me all about her experiences with ordinary men, ghouls, makeshift contraceptives and sex in the wasteland.

-

Sitting at my desk in my bedroom, I looked over at my notes for my 'neo-chapter one'. I had my first interview with the prostitute Nova. Sure, I had risked my life to get it, but it had been worth it; I was well on my way to getting this first chapter complete! I glanced over at the clock; it was 10:23p.m. I had said goodnight to Jericho at Moriarty's Saloon as I was feeling pretty tired, but sitting in my room my nerves were wide awake. As I jumped onto my bed hoping to somewhen fall asleep, someone suddenly was banging on my door. Although I was still in my jimmy-jams, I flew down the stairs and opened the door. My eyes widened; it was Flak! My good friend from Rivet City!

"Flak!" I cried. "What are you doing here?!" I jumped him and put my arms around him; he was a fellow trader from the large city of Rivet City. We used to both run a shop together here in Megaton, but after he had ticked off a few slavers he left this cute little town and ran off with someone called Shrapnel to seek a new life somewhere else.

"Hey, Moira!" he smiled. "Can I come in, first?"

I stepped out of the way and let him in. I didn't have much in the way of things to offer him, such as food or drink, but I rummaged the fridge and found a squashed little squirrel I found in the dustbin to give him. Surprisingly he didn't take it, so I ate it for myself. Yummy!

"What are you doing in town?" I asked him again.

"I am just piling up my wares." he replied. "I came by earlier, but you weren't here. You aren't usually shut, where were you?"

"Oh..." I thought about what to say. I couldn't really say I was out getting contraceptives, now, could I? "I was just 'piling up my wares', as you put it!" I lied; he saw right through me.

"Is that all you were doing?" he questioned me. I could never lie to him.. so I told him all about the new Guide I was writing.

"A new guide, eh? Hey, wait!" he looked alarmed, for some reason. "You hired Jericho? I've heard all about him, it's not the sort of company you wanna keep."

I shrugged my shoulders and laughed as I bit down into the squirrel's head and chewed it off. Swallowing it down I replied non-committedly:

"He saved my life, you know."

"Well, just be careful." he sighed, lighting up a cigarette. I eyed up the "death-stick" with curiousity. After 'borrowing' one of Jericho's, I wanted another one for some strange reason. I had done investigation into addiction before. It was around two years ago. I had met one of Billy Creel's ward's friends, who isn't around now, and I gave him some Mentats. The results were astounding! He had one the first day, then ten the next, and after a few days you couldn't get him off the stuff! He became really violent and bad-tempered, a real meanie! So I had to get Billy involved. I paid Maggie not to say anything, so Billy didn't know anything. Luckily the kid was so doped out he didn't know anything in the end!

"What brings you here so late in the evening, Flak?" I asked him. He wasn't dressed like he usually was. He was very a long, red trenchcoat, made of leather, and white trousers with black leather boots.

"Oh... there's this gig on tonight at Moriarty's Saloon. It's rare for musical talent to appear in the wasteland. They made the instruments out of old weapons."

I clapped my hands in glee and smiled in ecstacy! I hadn't heard real music before! Only the crummy, patriotic American stuff you heard on the radio.

"Oh, let me, let me come!" I begged, crashing to the floor and laying my head on his lap. He sighed and laughed weakly.

"Well, all right. Just.. get changed, first, all right?" he said, quietly. He stood up, pushing me away. Standing up too, I kissed him on the cheek and ran upstairs. Diving under the bed, I pulled out a few old clothes I find lying around the wastelands. I also pulled out an old cracked mirror and tried on a few of the clothes. In the end I decided on some pre-war summer clothes. It was a small, red little number; a dress that cut off at the top of the breasts and the top of the knee. It also pulled in at the waist and showed off my figure; a far-cry from the usual dungarees I wore. Even though I was only going to a 'gig', I took my notepad, just in case. Also, I took a packet of cigarettes which I had never smoked, who knows if they might come in handy?

Running down the stairs, I caught the sight of Flak looking bored. I smiled at him and he glanced up at me, obviously taken aback by the image of me in a dress. I stroked his cheek seductively and opened the door to my shop, gesturing him to go first. He tipped his imaginary hat and walked out, sniggering. I wish I hadn't just worn a dress now; it was bloody freezing! What we need is another atom bomb!

We entered inside Moriarty's Saloon, and I felt really, incredibly happy. Not I've-Found-A-Stomach-Substitute-Pleased, but human pleased. I had found an excuse to wear a pretty dress, and I was with an old friend to listen to real music in a Saloon with alcohol. Sure, the alcohol would slowly kill us with its radiation, but that was a small price to pay! People's heads turns to look at us as we entered. Flak went off the greet people he hadn't seen in a while as I sat down at the bar. Ordering a glass of wine from Gob, I was interrupted just as I was about to drink it by a tap on the shoulder. Spinning around I came face to face with Jericho!

"Well, well." he said, in his sardonic way. "Lookee, here. If it isn't the warrior princess, all dressed up for the party." He wasn't wearing his usual armour. Instead he was wearing a dusty black tuxedo, and that was armoured instead with leather plating. He didn't trust many people, it seemed! I smiled, eyes half-closed, and crossed my bared legs.

"May I help you?" I said, gulping down my wine as I had seen Nova do. Bad idea! I coughed it back into the glass. It was disgusting! He laughed and placed his hand on my shoulder; I didn't bother to move it, it felt warm!

"Yeah, you can give me my lighter back!" he demanded. I remembered that I had forgotten to give him back the Zippo. Laughing weakly, I promised I would give it back after the gig. Satisfied, he went back over to his table, where Nova sat. She put his arm around him and looked at me with a smile on her lips. Turning back to Gob, I felt a little less happy. I didn't exactly know why, for a girl like Nova suited a bloke like Jericho! Gazing at my rose-tinted reflexion in the wine, I shook my head and sipped gently at the wine, not taking time to savour the wickedly bad taste. It wasn't going to catch me this time!

Flak, who had finished greeting people, came over and sat next to me. Just as he was about to speak to me, the musicians entered onto the stage. Well, I say stage, but it really was just a raised metal platform near the bar! Their instruments were most interesting; a flute was made from an old AK47 with holes cut out of it and reeds made from old shell casing. A guitar was made out of a sniper rifle; a metal sheet had been placed alongside the handle, with long piano wire stretched from the tip to the bottom to make a noise when twanged. It sounded funny but certainly held a good tune! There was also a trombone, a violin, a piano and panpipes. The songs they played were pre-war songs, the kind you wouldn't hear on the radio. I lost myself in a world of music that night, not seeing anybody, just dancing music in my mind. Whilst they were playing, Flak dragged me back into the misery of real life.

"Hey, Moira! Wakey, wakey!" he called. I turned round to face him. Looking into his eyes, I couldn't really stay mad at him for putting me back into reality.

"What is it?" I asked, smiling.

"Want to dance?" he asked. I felt a bit stupid; I didn't know how to dance, nor did I think he did. I had seen some test-subjects when they were electrocuted though, and thought they looked like they were dancing. Maybe if I mimicked that, but slowed it down a little...

"Sure!" I beamed, jumping down from the stool. What a change this was, from the normal monotony of daily life! He took my hand in his and we joined the crowd of people in the centre of the Saloon. Swallowing our inhibition we all displayed our inability to dance to the out-of-tune and strange music. The irradiated alcohol was pouring all night long from the ghoul behind the bar and everyone was happy. What a strange night this was, to look back on it...

After I had danced for an hour or so, I felt incredibly worn out, so sat down at one of the tables which lined the walls. I had drank so much wine though that I failed to see Jericho seated there, and fell right into his lap.

"Easy, babe!" he roared, as I attempted to straighten myself out. There were no mirrors in the saloon, but I knew I must have looked rather deraggled! I suddenly remembered the guide, and the first chapter. Although I was rather tipsy, I did have my senses about me, and was prepared to do almost anything to get it written. I didn't consider myself ugly, but rather pretty. Jericho had obviously kept his eye on me throughout the night, so why not take his interest in me to my advantage for my guide?

"Silly." I whispered, getting closer to him. The hooker he was cosying up to earlier was at the bar, on her who-knows-which vodka. Jericho, who was taken rather by surprise at my sudden interest leant back a bit, but relaxed almost immediately to my hand on his knee. "Has Nova given you up, then?" I smiled. I probably looked like a Centaur, with my tongue hanging out and one eye half closed! If I did, he didn't noticed, as he drew his face closer to mine.

"Naw." he replied. "I got rid of her. Who knows what she got."

I closed my eyes tight; I knew it was dangerous, considering he was a cold blooded, ex-Raider, but I drew my face even closer and kissed him deeply. His goatee tickled! Amazingly, he didn't draw back like Flak did all those years ago! I opened one eye to see his reaction; he looked at me like I was a Super Mutant or something! Then, his expression relaxed. I knew he was about to kiss me back! Just as he was about to, I felt a hand grab mine and pull me to my feet: it was Flak.

"Hey, hey!" I called, as I was dragged outside of the Saloon. Noisy crickets could be heard in the night as Flak confronted me outside of the noisy pub. "Flak! What are you doing?" I asked, really confused.

"Moira! Have you been taking too many mentats or something? What are you doin', kissin' Jericho? You know what he's like!" he said, in my ear. I pulled back, upset that he had ruined my plan. I pouted my lips and looked at the ground. I could see the crickets glowing on the ground. "Well?" he expected a response.

"Flak!" I began. "It was for my guide! I was gonna... you know! Get a first hand experience! What, were you jealous?" I asked him. I wondered if he really was jealous. He looked away, shyly. Just then, I remembered about Shrapnel, his boyfriend.

"Did you forget?" he asked.

"Oh, wait, silly me. I remember." I laughed, slapping my head.

"This isn't about me." he continued. "You've got to be more careful. If you are going to conduct experiments like that, at least choose a safer subject." he begged. I didn't really know what his problem with Jericho was. He didn't seem like such a bad guy... he had saved my life... and he wasn't that bad looking!

After bidding Flak goodnight, I entered into my empty shop. I could even hear the echo of my footsteps as I trudged upstairs. Looking into the cracked mirror, I gazed at my reflection. I looked tired, drunk and stupid! The red dress didn't suit me at all. What was I thinking? Quickly slipping it off, I changed back into my blue dungarees. I then scooped up my cute little teddy bear off the floor and hugged him close to my chest. I wouldn't write any notes tonight, I just wanted to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow I'd see if there were any leads I could follow to help me write the guide, but for now I wasn't really in the mood. I slipped into the sheets on my bed and turned the lamp off, drifting into dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

The Wasteland Life Guide

Chapter Two: Still Not Happy

I awoke with a start; something loud outside had shaken me awake! I heard it again, only conscious this time; it was a gun-shot. Quickly throwing the dirty sheets away from me, I jumped up from my bed and ran towards the window. Peering out from it, I could see the local Sheriff, Lucas Simms, standing over a seemingly dead body. It was that, or he was asleep! Sighing with relief, I was glad that there weren't masses of Raiders coming to murder us all and mutilate our corpses. That wouldn't be much fun at all! I was burning with curiousity as I ran outside of my shop and towards the sheriff, to see who he had seemingly shot. I had forgotten that I was only wearing my pyjamas, but then again, I didn't look half as silly compared to Cowboy-Fixated Mr. Simms!

"Luke!" I called, waving my arm in the air and running towards him. He turned away and sighed, perhaps he hadn't noticed me? I shouted again. "Luke!"

He turned to face me, but he didn't look too happy!

"What's happened, Luke?" I asked him, kneeling down at the dead body. A crowd had formed around it, and Lucas Simms was trying to keep everyone at bay, so they wouldn't disturb it.

"What did I tell you, Moira? Don't call me Luke." he grunted, looking away from the dead body and then at me. I had completely forgotten he hated the sweetest little name I made for him!

"Sorry, Luke... Ass! Anyway, who did you shoot? Oh, wow!" I exclaimed, turning the body over. "You're such a good shot!" He had hit the jugular vein, the heart and right between the eyes! I wondered how he managed to do it with the gap between firing bullets for a magnum, but proceeded to examine the body, much to Lucas' protest.

"Get away from it!" he would cry, as I laughed and reminded him about my scientific qualifications. Of course, those qualifications _were _just my life's experiences, but they meant more than some education from Harvard University... or Oxford!

"Oh my!" I gasped, recoiling my hands. "Is that who I think it is?" It was a silly question to ask, I know, because I knew who it was. It was Billy Creel; Maggie's father, and one handsome guy! Too bad he was dead, but no wonder there was a crowd; whenever a Raider trapsed in here and was 'retired', people didn't bother looking twice, and he or she simply ended up in my backroom for the advantage of mankind. However, Lucas Simms had killed one of our own... but why?

I stood up from the ground, not feeling very well at all! I didn't think I would be using Billy Creel for any of my experiments like I did the Raiders.

"What happened?" I asked Lucas, still looking at Billy; his eyes appeared to be yellow... strange!

"I don't know!" Lucas Simms replied sharply; I even drew back at the tone of his voice. "The dude simply went crazy, so I wasted him. Poor sod." he sighed, covering his eyes with his hand. I placed my hand on his shoulder, but quickly retracted it when he gave me a look that could kill Deathclaws!

"It was the right thing to do." I said, as gently as I possibly could. "He might have killed many innocent people!"

My kind, heroine-like words didn't seem to have any effect on him, and he just walked away, leaving the body on the ground with a crowd around it. I certainly had no use for it, so I watched as Nathan and his wife Manya ordered some people to take it away to arrange a burial service. Thinking that I had seen enough, I walked back to my shop, eager to write down notes on Billy Creel's sudden turn for the worst.

The morning hadn't been the nicest one, so I had decided to keep my shop shut out of respect. I wrote down some things which stuck in my mind about Billy Creel as the morning passed by;

_- It took three bullets to take him down; perhaps strength enhanced by some kind of drug. He might have been addicted to something, like Psycho, or Mentats. Mentat addiction did display violent streaks, but not enhanced strength. Maybe something natural, like adrenaline?_

_- He was brandishing a combat knife, not his usual magnum. If he wanted to brutally murder us all effectively, why use something so stupid? Indicates primal aggression seen in Super Mutants. Maybe radiaction afflicted?_

_- His eyes were yellowed, indicating a problem with the liver. If he had ingested heavy doses of radiation, this may cause it, but it weakens the body to such a state that increased strength is an impossibility._

_.... I GIVE UP!_

I threw the note-pad to the other side of the room, angry with myself. I desperately wanted to know what on Earth had happened to Billy Creel! I cast my mind back over the last few days; I certainly hadn't seen him in Megaton, and I didn't see him last night at that gig in Moriarty's Saloon. My line of thought about Billy stopped immediately, like someone had shot me in the head with a shotgun; I remembered what had happened last night! I slapped my face and cringed; did I really sit on Jericho's lap and attempt to kiss him? Cringing even moreso and collapsing on the bed and screamed into my pillow and banged my fists on the dirty mattress. The sweet scent of turpentine filled my nostrils as I laughed hysterically, impressed by my own confidence. Although, the copious amounts of irradiated wine had probably helped things along. Thinking I should go and apoligize to Jericho for my actions, I got up from the bed and left my shop, heading towards his house.

Every step there was like a dagger through my heart; I felt nervous confronting him after what had happened. With my heart pounding heavily in my chest I banged on his door three times; he answered after around five minutes. Upon opening the door, I saw what ten bottles of vodka did to him; he looked like hell! Unshaven so the stubble showed up in little flecks around his beard; smelly so the alcohol offended my nostrils; unkempt in dress so he looked like a tramp. I never felt so excited at seeing him! I didn't know why I did what I did, perhaps it was because I had seen so much grittiness that I was attuned to it, but I pushed him into his house and the slammed the door behind me. With a large grin on my face, which I imagined made me look insane, I slowly stepped up to him. Just as he was about to protest about my inapproriate entry, I placed my finger to his lips.

"I came here to apoligize, you know." I whispered. He looked at me as though I had told him I saw a pig flying earlier. "But right now I don't regret any of it." I continued. He pushed my hand away and hacked, loudly.

"Listen, babe. I ain't got no clue what you're on about." he coughed, lighting up a cigarette from a carton lying on a nearby table. My heart sank; just like I had he had forgotten about last night! Maybe he would remember like I did?

"Let me jar your memory!" I laughed, placing my hands on his shoulders and pulling him towards me. Garnering all the courage I could muster I pressed my lips down hard on his and we were locked in an embrace for what seemed the longest time; with no Flak to pull me away on this occasion! After I pulled away, his eyes were half shut and he looked very strange. He was about to speak when we both heard movement coming from deeper inside his house. I looked passed him and squinted my eyes through the darkness; coming out from the shadows was none other than that prostitute Nova, wearing nothing but dirty bed-sheets wrapped around her. Turning red, I suddenly felt very stupid, and very angry. I faced Jericho, but couldn't think of anything to say; he just looked at the ground. So, I stormed out of there! Away from that jerk and his slut! I certainly wouldn't be seeing either of them for a long, long time!

Returning to my shop, I slammed the door hard behind me, to find Flak seated behind my counter. Still cross, I ignored him as he greeted me and stomped upstairs, crashing onto my bed and staring angrily at the ceiling. I knew it was childish, but I admit I was envious. How could Jericho sleep with such a whore? Not to mention obviously _pay_ her? My thoughts were distracted as Flak entered my bedroom.

Quietly, he leant up against the door frame and lit up a cigarette.

"Everything all right, Moira?" he asked, sympathetically. I didn't need anyone's sympathy!

"Fine." I replied, crassly.

"You don't look fine." he commented, coming over and sitting down on the chair next to the bed.

"Appearances can be deceiving!" I cried, sitting up. "What do you want?!" I shouted into his face. He pulled back, probably surprised that I would get this angry. I instantly regretted getting moody with one of my best friends, so apoligised deeply and sighed, trying to look as sorry as possible. Luckily, he forgave me and offered me a cigarette. I whacked it out of his hand, sending it flying across the room; I still wasn't completely happy yet.

"I did come here for a purpose, you know. Apart from that gig." he began. I looked up from the floor, gaining an interest in what Flak was doing in Megaton. More than anything though, I wanted something to take my mind of that bastard Jericho.

"What do you mean?" I asked, sounding as dis-interested as possible.

"Well... I saw you standing over Billy Creel's body this morning, so I suppose you have some idea of what happened to him." he sighed. "Too bad it was too late."

I was a little confused; too late for what? And what idea did I have of anything?

"Sorry?"

"Some idea of why he went nuts." he suggested.

"Well..." I cast my mind back to the notes I was writing. "His eyes were yellow... which means his liver was probably being weird. Radiation, perhaps? Also!" I cried, excited at the prospect of being involved in something that didn't involved Jericho. "It took three shots to take him down! So he was like... super human!"

"Well, you could put it that way..." Flak laughed, weakly. "What Billy appeared to have was some form of 'feralosis'. It's this strange new disease that's been cropping up all over the wasteland. I heard about a cure in Springvale, of all places! So, I decided to stop off here and visit some people before continuing on."

"Wow." I whispered. A new disease? Causing people to go nuts? It didn't surprise me that much... but what did surprise me was that there was a curse. Especially in this horrible wasteland! What I really wanted to know was why Flak was seeking a cure, and not some big army, like the Brotherhood of Steel.

"Why you, Flak?" I asked him, with my tone that usually got answers! It involved puppy dog eyes, and sometimes worked.

"Listen, Moira. I don't want to go into it right now. I shouldn't have said anything." he replied, angrily, and began to leave.

"Wait!" I cried, following on after him. He ignored me, but I persisted, and grabbed his arm. "Why?!"

"Because Shrapnel has it! He's gone feral!"

-

I suited myself up well for the trip. Equipping the best armour I could find, I also brought along my finest weapon, that I just couldn't bear to part with, nor sell; my scoped Magnum! It was so cute; I even put home-made stickers of my shop's mascot all over it, the Craterside Supply Centaur! They melted off though, whenever I had a chance to fire it... poor things. Placing a handbag around my shoulder that I found on a skeleton around a mile from Megaton, I slipped the Magnum inside. I was finally ready to depart for Springvale with Flak, to find the cure for Feralosis. He told me it wouldn't be easy, but after snogging Jericho I felt I could do anything!

I literally flew out of my shop door and toward the entrance of Megaton and met up with Flak there; he looked rather more happy than the previous days, probably because we both knew Shrapnel would be healed in no time. I felt very bad for Billy though, especially Maggie; he could have been healed. We exited Megaton and headed North for Springvale, brandishing our guns incase trouble headed our way.

"So why don't you tell me what we're up against?" I asked, eager to know what the cure actually was.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." he replied, jokingly.

"I've seen a lot of things!"

"Well, all right. You're gonna see it at any rate. You know that hooker, who used to work for Colin?"

I felt angry again, thinking about Nova, but she still worked for Colin.

"No, who?" I asked, unaware of whom he was speaking.

"Well, her name is Silver, and she managed to escape from, taking a whole lot of caps. Some bloke came a few weeks ago, told Colin she was dead. But she ain't. She holds the cure."

"You're kidding." I laughed. "How can some two-bit hooker hold the cure to something so deadly?"

As the words left my lips, we approached the outskirts of Springvale, and short earthquakes of around half a second durations greeted us, with a second pause between them. Stopping dead in our tracks out of fear, I almost peed myself as I saw something massive step from behind a large building.

The giant mutant coming out from behind a large building looked almost human! Also, it appeared to be female, with long, ragged blonde hair, but a hideous, grinning face with blood pouring down it. Its footsteps were causing the mini earthquakes as it scoured the land looking for people to eat, and we watched in terror as it picked up a corpse of the ground and shoved it into its mouth and crunched down happily. It must have been Silver, but what on Earth had happened to her? It looked like she had had hefty doses of radiation exposure by the look of it, but why?

"Well, uh." Flak, whispered, a tremble in his voice. "There she is."

I could understand his fear. Silver now stood at around 50 feet, her body was coated in thick, blonde hair and she appeared meaner than a Brahmin after you've tipped it!

"How are we gonna get the cure from her?" I asked him, my own voice feigning. Unfortunately for us, she heard us with her massive, dropping ears stained with blood. She turned to face us and let out a deafening scream. The adrenaline kicked in quickly!

"Split up!" Flak screamed at me. I ran left and he ran right! Hiding myself behind a building I covered my ears so I wouldn't be deafened by the loudening screams eminating from Silver's big gob! Suddenly, she appeared to be on the move and heading towards me! I readied my gun and entered inside the building I was standing outside. She must have known where I was, for the whole building shook, and sunlight overtook the darkness as she tore the western wall off! Forcing my legs to move, I ran upstairs as the building collapsed around me. Not one to give up easily, I took a few shots, aiming for her head, but they only hit her shoulders. She screamed out in pain as she backed off and wiped at her upper arms to see what was there. I could see blood trickling down her arms as I covered my ears from the loud screams. Without hesitation, I poked my eye through the scope and aimed for her eye. With one quick movement I let off a shot and luckily for me it was a direct hit! It exploded her left eye, sending yellow goo everywhere! Her eye must have been massive! She screamed again in agony and cupped the socket where her eye had been. Flak, who had not abandoned me to die, entered onto the scene and shot her with his shotgun in the kneecap. She doubled up in pain and fell back slowly (as you can imagine, with the wind resistance at her size) onto the ground, causing a huge earthquake which sent me and Flak onto the ground. I whacked the ground hard, and rolled over to the top of the ruins of a staircase, almost rolling down them! Luckily, I didn't, or it might have been the end of me!

Silver wasn't dead yet though, you could see because she was still making one heck of a noise. Screaming and yelling in pain, she had obviously lost all reason. Flak approached her, a frag grenade in hand. Climbing onto her head, he pulled the pin and shoved it into her mouth, running away as quickly as he could. I turned away, to avoid watching such a hideous sight, but I heard the noise of her cranium exploding into a thousand pieces. _Now_ she was dead.

I was still on the second floor of the destroyed building, on the ground and my head buried in my arms, covered in Silver's blood after the grenade sent it hurtling everywhere. After a few minutes Flak approached me and helped me up, brushing me down with a teddy bear he found lying somewhere near. I looked at him angrily, frustrated that he didn't tell me what a big foe we had to face!

"I hope you got what you came for!" I cried, as angrily as I could!

"I certainly did!" he smiled, holding up a vial of red liquid. I peered at it intently.

"What's that?" I asked. He told me it was the internal fluids of Silver's womb; it was a cure and a vaccine against Feralosis. Silver, after heavy doses of radiation unwittingly spread it to every single one of her clients, sending them into a murderous rage.

"But then, that means.." I started, but cut myself short.

"Yes..." Flak sighed. "Shrapnel once did pay Silver to sleep with him. But that was a long time ago. Before he met me."

We headed back to Megaton, fast; Flak was going to head back to Rivet City immediately once we arrived and I was going to run the bloody shop again, like I usually did. Now wasn't the time to feel sorry for myself, though. When we arrived at Megaton, I hugged Flak and wished him the best of luck in returning, I then entered the town and returned to the Craterside Supply Shop. Looking at the clock, it read roughly 5p.m. Bloody hell... the day wasn't even nearly over yet! I had had some excitement though, so I shouldn't have felt so sorry for myself that it was back to my old boring routine of opening the shop and serving customers come the morn. I gazed over at the counter and espied the Wasteland Survival Guide. Slapping my head, I suddenly remembered the Wasteland Life Guide! How could I have forgotten it! That was going to be that thing that swallowed up my boredom! However, how could I use the interview that I had gotten from Nova now? I hated her! I felt as if I had gone right back to the start with the guide; my relationship with Jericho had ended before it had even begun. The interview with Nova was now worthless because I wanted nothing to do with her, and although Flak was in a commited relationship he was headed toward Rivet City.

As I sat in my bed, I thought about the guide again. Was I really going to let Nova get in the way of it? So what if Jericho had slept with her? I searched underneath my bed for a carton of cigarettes I had found scavenging outside in the wastelands and pulled in onto the bed. Pulling a cigarette out I lit it with Jericho's Zippo and inhaled deeply, trying not to wretch. If Jericho could handle it, so could I. All I wanted to do was complete the guide, not get all up in arms because Jericho had slept with some hooker. I had paid him 1000 caps, for Goodness' sake! It would be silly of me to ignore him and waste all that money because of some stupid woman! Feeling every so confident, I left the cigarette hanging out of my mouth and walked smoothly out of the shop, heading towards Jericho's house.

Banging on the door three times again, I waited for him to answer. After a few minutes, again, he answered, although this time he looked a bit more like the Jericho I had seen fighting the Raiders instead of shagging whores.

"Listen, Moira..." he started.

"No." I replied, cutting him off. "Be ready at 7p.m. with your gun, to go to Rivet City. I need you to kill things so we can get there." I ordered him. He didn't reply, nor look angry. He must've been please to have been given the chance to kill things. Leaving him at his front door, I went back to my shop, cigarette still in my gob, although it had burned away, nearly at the filter now. Burning my lip, I spit it out in pain!

"Ow!" I cried! I was glad Jericho didn't see that.


	3. Chapter 3

The Wasteland Life Guide

Chapter Three: I'm Getting There

I stood in my room, gazing at the clock on the wall intently. It read five to seven, soon I would have to meet Jericho at the entrance of Megaton and set foot for Rivet City. Although he was a bit silly, I didn't think he would give up the chance to shoot something. Even though he would join me, I didn't neglect to take my 10mm Silenced Pistol with me. The revolver could stay here, as I didn't really want to overuse it and damage its condition any further after that Silver incident. Not wanting to keep Jericho waiting, I grabbed a packet of cigarettes, my notepad and Jericho's Zippo lighter and headed towards Megaton's gates. Much to my dismay, he kept _me_ waiting! I must have stood there for at least 15 minutes before he bumbled up the hill, out of breath and red in the face. I cast a look at the cigarette he held in his hand as he breathlessly greeted me; I could resist lighting one up now, noticing the state of him. Stifling laughter, I patted him on the shoulder, ignoring his deathly stare and pushed the gates of Megaton open, ready to head toward Rivet City. I knew it was silly and dangerous, and Flak had just left to go there, but maybe I could catch up with him and discuss his relationship with Shrapnel! Maybe I could even be there when he 'cured' his partner! It would be so sweet, like the ending of Romeo and Juliet, that old play from pre-war times. Although without the death. And heterosexuality.

-

Walking along the rocky terrain, I suddenly regretted acting on impulse. I looked up at the sky; it was getting dark, fast. I was so silly for coming out at evening! It would be 8p.m. soon, and the sky would be completely dark, with only the stars to keep me and Jericho company. Not that he was much of a partner, yet again. He hardly spoke to me at all, and the only noise that came from him was a 'hwooo' when he exhaled on his cigarette. I didn't even try to make conversation this time, just walked steadily along and took in the lovely sights of cars tipped over and buildings destroyed by the bombs. Occasionally we passed the odd dead body, but they were beyond even my help. As we continued along the land toward Rivet City, I could see Jericho was getting antsy at not being able to shoot anything, I just hoped he wouldn't fill me full of bullets out of boredom; it would probably hurt a lot! For a few seconds, anyway! As if God, or some other being had read my mind, bullets were suddenly being pelted toward us, hitting the ground and sending mud up into the air. The sound they made was unmistakable, but still shocking, none-the-less! Even so, these Raiders weren't half bad shots! Jericho kicked into action immediately, glad that he had something to kill. I remained cool, and ducked behind an overturned car that was nearby, pulling out my pistol. Looking through the car's windows, I could see Jericho unload lead through one of the female Raider's, tearing her body to pieces; a male Raider was sneaking up behind him, though! Not wasting a second, I rolled out from behind the car as I had seen Jericho do before and shot wildly with my eyes closed. Looking back on it, that was pretty stupid, but at least I managed to shoot the back of his right leg! Jericho, alarmed by the Raider's cry of pain, spun around quickly and shot him in the face mercilessly. Remind me never to get on his bad side! There was another male Raider nearby, who sounded like he held a bonesaw, or something similar; one of those awful sounding weapons, anyway. However, upon seeing his fellow Raiders being shot dead by Jericho, he must have ran away with his tail between his legs, because me and my partner certainly couldn't find him anywhere! I looked behind cars, walls, under barrels... until Jericho shouted at me to hurry up, that is. Not wanting to anger him, I holstered my weapon and continued along the way to Rivet City, following the map closely. It appeared we had to go through some old Metro Station; I did not like the sound of that at all! It was probably dark, damp and smelly.

As we walked along some shattered high-way road, I yawned loudly, and stretched my arms out wide. It had been a very long day, what with that Silver monster and now this. I really should have waited until tomorrow. Yet it was too late now, I would have to just continue. I turned around to see how Jericho was doing, since he didn't provide his usual lewd joke about my ass, but he wasn't there. Circling around on the high-way, I looked left and right wildly.

"Jericho?!" I called out. "Where are you? This isn't funny!"

He really wasn't the type to play this kind of joke. Sure, he would make rude comments, but he wouldn't just leave. Just when I thought I saw something in the distance, I felt pain on the back of my head, and then I crashed to the floor; someone had knocked me out. Landing on my front, all I heard as I passed out was:

"She ain't too bad, make use as.." and that was all.

-

I woke up in a strange room. Well, it wasn't exactly a room, it was more of a cell, with metal walls more suited to a shed than a room. The floor was of a muddy terrain, not something you would have found in the Ritz! I looked down, and found someone had changed me in my slumber. I was now wearing some tacky sleepwear! Something _Nova _would wear while on the game! It was red, lacy and flimsy, showing off my bruised legs and a whole lot of cleavage. I then felt the neck brace. Trembling with fear, like most situations I had found myself in recently, I realised what had happened; I must have been captured by slavers. This was certainly not a neck brace, it was a Slaver Collar thingy! Not daring to touch it, for fear it might explode, I stayed in the cell, not even going to see if the door was unlocked, as it was probably wasn't anyway. To my amusement, someone had left half a packet of cigarettes on the ground, alongside Jericho's Zippo. Ignoring the fact that I would be killing myself, I took a shaky hand to the packet and pulled a cigarette out, shoving it into my mouth and lighting it. For some funny reason, the thought that the Zippo belonged to Jericho made me feel a little better. Maybe because it was a small part of him, and it gave me a little courage, I don't know. I thought of him, and where he might be. Perhaps he was in the same place, as a slave?

I wondered what I would have to do in my new job as a slave. My outfit, though, left nothing to the imagination; I would probably be used for sex. I shut my eyes tightly and dragged heavily on the cigarette I held in my hand. Casting my mind back the Wasteland Survival Guide, I thought about psalms I was conjuring up to put in the book. One I was going to put in there was: "You've just got to put up with it!". How true it was now! I certainly couldn't ignore my own advice, for that would make me such a silly hypocrite. So, dragging on my cigarette again, I simply sat on the dirty ground and awaited for someone to enter my cell.

A few minutes after I had finished one of the cheap cigarettes, I slipped Jericho's Zippo into the lingerie's pockets and stood up and the door to the cell was unlocked. Swallowing my fear, I confronted my Slaver.

"Well, well." he said; I already hated his voice. It was funny sounding. "So this is what the boys brought in. Not bad, for a Wastelander."

"I can do more than just shag." I smiled. Bad move! He came up to me with a look of disgust and gave me the back of his hand around my face; it hurt, a lot! His slap sent me to the floor, the debris poking into my exposed legs. Grimacing, I didn't dare complain nor shout out in pain. I simply got up off the floor and brushed myself off. Not the best start...

"I'm Ymir. At the start of each day I'll give you some food, tell you who you're to... deal with and then take you back to bed. Understand?" he asked. Ymir? What a silly name! I nodded my head, simply glad the Zippo lighter hadn't fallen out of my pocket. "Good, then we're getting somewhere. You're first client is the big boss himself, Eulogy. Come." he ordered. I followed on after him, leaving the packet of cigarettes on the ground. In a place like this, I should imagine the booze, fags and other luxuries come in copious amounts. The place was as I imagined, just like the rest of the Wasteland. Various signs with Paradise Falls written on them were strewn about, half buried in the ground. As I gazed about, I saw guards posted high above the ground armed with sniper rifles; if I ever got the chance to escape it would certainly not be easy! I follow on after Ymir, not eager to meet Eulogy, bastard of the Slavers.

I entered inside Eulogy's room; it was pretty tacky. In the middle of the room was a massive love bed, shaped like a love heart and covered in a couple of thick sheets of various red hues. Would I have to sleep with him in that bed? Ew! I glanced around the room; empty whiskey bottles and cigarettes butts gave it a lived-in look. Other sex slaves who were dressed like I was littered the place, smoking cigarettes and talking with each other; I guessed they had been here a bit longer than I had. Ymir led me to a corner of the room where a man sat in a luxurious red armchair wearing a long sheepskin coat. It must have been Eulogy. The look of content on his face showed that he was doing all right for himself... I wanted nothing more than to wipe the grin off his face... if only I had my pistol! He was a tall man, with dark skin and a rough, unkindly face, withered by unknown amounts of alcohol and tobacco. His nostrils flared as he looked at me from the legs up; his eyes stopped on my breasts for a moment and then he signalled Ymir to go away. I knew what was coming...

"So, you're the knew girl. I'm Eulogy. Why don't you sit down?" he gestured me to sit down on a battered-looking fold out chair. I didn't dare refuse, so sat down on the cold metal.

"My name's..." I began, but was abruptly cut off by a wave of his hand.

"Your name was whatever. I don't care. You look like a... Avon to me. Your new name is Avon." he said, with no room for argument. I didn't protest, although I would have liked to. I would have liked to have stood up and screamed "No! My name is Moira! Avon is a shit name! It's just Nova backwards! And she is as backwards as they come!"

But I kept my lips sealed.

The conversation didn't go any further. Sending the other girls into another room, he led me to the lovebed. Cringing, I knew what would happen next. Taking my hand, he suddenly pushed me onto the bed and quickly lowered his trousers, a grin on his face. I simply shut my eyes and hoped it would be over with as soon as possible. A few seconds later, I felt his hand up in between my legs as he pulled my underwear down. As he threw it somewhere in the corner, he penetrated my flesh with his erection. I can tell you now: it hurt like hell. I really didn't want it to be like this, for me to be a sex slave and for a dirty pig to be my first, but I had to put up with it or die. After entering me, he got a slow rhythm going and then built up speed. I didn't enjoy it one bit, and failed to see any pleasure in sex at all. How Nova managed it was quite beyond me, she must have been desperate for caps. The deed seemed to have taken forever, but I heard him moan once, then twice, then I felt a warm liquid envelop my inner thigh. He collapsed on top of me, his full weight taking my breath away. I almost gagged at the smell of his disgusting breath; it smelt like a dead Brahmin soaked in whiskey and set ablaze with tobacco in a bonfire. I was just glad it was over after he pulled out.

He left no room for me to recover after this 'love making', and simply thanked me rudely. Pushing me out of the bed, he left me to find my underwear as he lit up a cigarette. Perhaps out of pity he chucked me one, but I daren't light it with the Zippo I hid on my clothes, just in case. So, hiding my disgust, I went over to him and took his box of matches, lighting it up and inhaling deeply. I thought of Jericho, and what he was doing, to take my mind off things. I wondered if he was out killing things, and not a slave like I was. I didn't hate Jericho, despite him sleeping with Nova. In fact, I didn't despise Nova as much as a did now, considering she had to go through this daily. I hoped with all my heart Jericho was safe... little did I know how wrong I was.

-

After leaving Eulogy's room, I was allowed to walk freely around Paradise Falls, to a degree. That is, I wasn't permitted near the entrance unless I wanted to be shot. Of this I was incredibly glad, because I certainly didn't want to be alone in that cell after 'making love' with that man. The place was pretty boring, the only places of interest were the gun shop and the bar, but I had no caps to spend. The other girls ignored me too, but I didn't know why. Perhaps it was because I was new? Wanting to know why I was a little outcast, I approached one girl who was on her own.

"What do you want?" she snapped at me. I was taken aback by her ferocity.

"Hi, my names M-." I stopped short, remembering my new name. I would't want to piss anyone off. "Avon. My name's Avon. And you are..?"

"_What _do you want?" she repeated. I couldn't understand her rudeness.

"I just wanted to chat, that's all." I smiled. She did not smile back.

"Listen, sweetie." she frowned. "I don't want to be seen talking to you." she stood up, and began to walk away.

"Hey, wait! Why not?"

"Because!" she turned around to face me. "Most of us were in our cell for a week before Eulogy saw us. You were in there for half an hour." she stuck her two fingers at me and walked away, leaving me a little shell shocked. I wanted to run up to her, slap her around the face and scream in her face: "Are you on Mentats?! Do you _enjoy _shagging that weirdo?!"

I failed to summon the courage.

-

Having seen everything there was to see, and seeing everything there that I couldn't buy, such as whiskey and wine, I decided to go back to my cell and smoke one of the cigarettes I had left there. I would have to preserve them though. Who knew when Eulogy would call on me again? I didn't really want to have sex with that pig again, but he might be decent enough to chuck me a cigarette like last time. Just as I was about to reach my cell door, I heard a ruckus behind me. My heart leapt in my stomach... it sounded like Jericho!

"Let go'a me, you bastard!" he cried, as I spun around. It _was _Jericho! He was being dragged along by two slavers towards a shack, dressed... _very _oddly. In fact, he was dressed like I was. Wearing purple, sexy lingerie designed for a woman, it was obvious he was now a sex slave, just like me! I raised my hand to my mouth so that I wouldn't completely burst out laughing, but it was a little funny. I suddenly remembered Eulogy though, and my ordeal, then felt very guilty. Jericho had fallen for the same fate as me, and now we were both in the same boat. Now, though, maybe we could team up and think of some way to escape? Heading into my cell, for there was nothing I could do for him now, I fell to my knees and scooped up the packet of cigarettes from the floor. Lighting one of them up with Jericho's lighter I inhaled with exaltation and held the Zippo to my breast, just happy that I wasn't alone.

-

A few days had passed since I saw Jericho in the lingerie, and I hadn't seen him since. The men were kept seperate from the women, but I had no idea who he was a slave for, since the other girls kept quiet. I remained quiet and kept my head down during my daily routine of sleeping with Eulogy; the other slaves there were obviously jealous that he used me so much, and that gave me a little confidence boost, but I failed to see why they were so envious. Eulogy was a filthy pig, not the most desirable of men, the other girls must have been insane! I really wanted to get out of this place, so decided to seek out Jericho... I doubted he was very happy. Walking around the compound, I found the entrance to the shack I saw Jericho enter a few days before. As it was the evening the area was moderately quiet, so I slipped in un-noticed; I saw Jericho lying on the floor, still wearing his sexy lingerie and half-asleep. I stumbled over to him and crashed on the floor, shaking him awake.

"Huh... what?" he slurred; he was drunk.

"Hey! Jericho! It's me!" I cried, throwing my arms around him.

"Oh, God." he sighed. "Can't I ever get away from you?" he laughed, weakly.

"Nope." I replied. "So you're here too."

"It looks like it." he replied, looking around the room. He lay on a dirty mattress, more than I got in my cell.

"So, go on, who's your 'boss'"?" I asked him, with a smile.

"Ymir. The fag likes a bloke in a women's clothing." he grunted, lighting up a cigarette. It seemed they kept him moderately happy.

"Well at least you haven't got Eulogy." I chuckled, thinking about the time he insisted I pretended to be some woman called Monroe.

"What are you doin' here?" he asked me. I wondered what I was doing here; was it just to see him again?

"Just to see if you're doing all right..." It was the truth. I was glad he was O.K., and was hoping he would suddenly burst forth with a valiant plan of escape.

"Well, babe." he began, "This is it for us. I hope you can get used to it. Now get lost, before someone sees us." he uttered, pushing me away. I felt desperately sorry for him, that he had lost that fighting spirit, and had given up so easily. But then again, I felt hopeless too. Paradise Falls was surrounded by snipers... escape would be near impossible, especially with these things around our necks.

"I understand.." I replied, standing up. "I'll be back again soon." I whispered, leaving him be.

-

Sitting in my cell, I wanted nothing more than to escape from this dingy place; I had really had more than enough. Only a few minutes before, Eulogy made me dress up like a school teacher and whip him senseless. Such weird things made me feel so silly! Feeling that I must do someting about my situation, I stood up from the ground and cast the cigarette I held in my hand away; I wouldn't be needing that now! I opened the door to my cell and walked over to the girl that had actually spoken to me the other day; she would talk to me more deeply this time, that's for sure!

"Hey, you!" I called, grabbing her by the arm and making sure no one was around.

"What do you want?" she grunted, pulling away.

"I want to get out of here."

"Don't we all." she laughed in my face.

"No, really. There's nothing stronger than human will, and I believe I can get out of here. You and the other girls isn't helping at all though, so I need information, and right now!" I cried, grabbing her arm.

"Or what?" she sneered, pulling away again and lighting up a cigarette.

"Or I'll tell Eulogy I caught you telling the other girls he has a small penis!" I threatened. She looked at me dis-believingly, but she knew the threat was genuine, and that Eulogy would believe me. After all, I was his favourite girl; he seemed to think I was loopy enough to do any crazy thing he wanted!

"Fine!" she spat out. "What do you want to know?"

I honestly didn't think it would be that easy, and quickly racked my brains to think of questions.

"When is it most quiet around here?"

"Well..." she started, a pensive look on her face. "I suppose when the Slavers are out looking for fresh meat."

"And when's that?"

"At the end of every month, so that would be the day after next."

The day after next... which would be I had to act fast. If I was going to slip out undetected, that would be the best time to do it.

"Are there any underground tunnels around here?" I continued.

"Well, there's the disused mine beneath Paradise Falls, but it's completely sealed off. Probably full of mutated beings." she laughed quietly. That seemed like the best place to sneak out of here; if there was a mine underneath Paradise Falls there had to be an entrance, no matter if it was sealed off. My plan to sneak out had begun.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Enough

I opened my eyes slowly, and took in a deep breath of air. I was in my cell, lying on top of a dirty mattress that Eulogy had given to me. It stank of booze and cheap perfume!

Today was the day we were going to escape. Yesterday, I had the chance to speak to Jericho for five minutes, until we were caught talking. Luckily, we weren't shot for our behaviour… it seemed that Eulogy really liked me a lot. I sighed; it would be a shame to have to kill him!

My shop was waiting for me however, so I couldn't just lie around on my back all day! And this slaver collar really was quite heavy; I don't know how the other girls walk around with it on so easily. I guess they've been here a helluva lot longer than I have, though.

Hearing someone outside my cell door, rattling around with the padlock that kept me inside during the night, I quickly lay back down, careful to avoid the damp patches, and shut my eyes tight. The mission would begin!

My heart was racing as the padlock was released and the door swung open; I felt like an action heroine from a pre-atom bomb movie! Ymir, Jericho's "friend", came closer to the mattress as I pretended to be asleep. He didn't know it, but in my hand, I held a scalpel that I had found beneath some rubble outside the lady's toilets. I had stumbled across it accidentally, after running out of the bogs to vomit on the ground; the toilets stank, and were overflowing with excrement!

Feeling a nudge on my shoulder as Ymir beckoned me awake, my eyes popped open and without hesitation, I flung out my arm and lunged forward at Ymir. Making sure to cover his mouth, so people outside wouldn't hear him scream, I stabbed him right in the jugular! Boy, was there a lot of blood.

Closing my eyes, I waited for him to stop shaking as the blood continued to spray all over me. After he fell down dead into the dirt, I opened my eyes and looked around. He did not look happy, that's for sure!

"I'm sorry!" I said, wincing. "I need my knife back."

Pulling the scalpel free from his neck, I looked down at my red, slutty dress, that wouldn't look out of place on Nova, and sighed; it was covered with blood! How could I go outside, like an undercover agent, with blood all over me? I had only one choice, and it was not something I would enjoy. I had to wash myself somehow, but there was no water source here. So, with a big gulp of courage, I urged myself to pee.

Stepping outside my little shack, I knew that I had little time for dilly-dallying; this was the time for action! My dress was too bloody to wear, so I had to wear a bin-bag that was in the corner of my cell. It looked like fetish-gear, and wouldn't attract too many questions. I was 'employed' as a whore anyway! With the scalpel hidden neatly in my tied-up hair, and Ymir's little gun hidden in my cleavage, I felt full of energy and spirit! I would be getting out of here, and Jericho too!

Eulogy's house loomed dead ahead. It was rather a nice place, and he kept it well decorated with various paintings and sculptures his lackeys had stolen for him. Heart beating fast, I stalked along the dirt track to his house, knowing he always like to have sex with me in the mornings. I had to be quick, as Ymir's body wouldn't lay undiscovered for long.

"Hey, babe." Came a familiar voice from the other end of the room. I had entered Eulogy's house. The smell of tobacco and cheap gin invaded my nostrils. I had personally never drank gin, as it smelt terrible! Eulogy had offered it to me many times, but I always declined.

If I had my way, I would take the gun out from my breasts and shoot Eulogy, right then and there! But some other whores were standing beside him, fanning him gently with the wings of a large eagle.

"Hi, sexpot." I said, as demurely as I could. Although I used to be quite shy, and hesitated even when kissing a guy, days of shagging this bozo had boosted my confidence and sexuality to no end. It was also part of my plan. The bitches had to go!

"I love it when you talk dirty to me." He replied, a smile on his withered lips. I held back a shudder of disgust as I faked a laugh. Faking it was easy now, after having so much practice!

"I can be as dirty as you want, honey." I giggled, attempting a wink.

"Are you twitching?" he asked.

"Oh, uh." I began, red in the face. "I got some smoke in my eye. Why don't we take this conversation into the bedroom?" I suggested, chewing the end of my little finger. He looked at me up and down, his lecherous eyes examining every inch of my body.

Without saying anything, he clapped his hands twice and the whores dispersed, leaving us alone. Now was the time. Smiling, I walked slowly over to him and sat on his lap, putting my arms around his neck. I could feel his erection on my thigh! For the last time!

Kissing him passionately on the lips as he grabbed my ass, I rose one hand to my hair and moaned wildly. With one quick grab, I had gotten hold of the scalpel, and brought it down onto his neck, using the same trick I had pulled on Ymir. This time, I quickly stood up and whirled behind him so I wouldn't get splashed with blood. There was a lot of it.

Not wasting any time, I faked moaning orgasms as I quickly stripped him off clothing and weapons. Luckily, he wore a big hat and sunglasses which could conceal his face when he looked down. Quickly donning his outfit, I picked up some coal nearby and smeared it all over my face and hands. From a distance, I could get away with looking like him. I then rummaged through his pockets, looking for the keys for the collar. Panicking when I couldn't find them, I checked again, this time noticing the internal pocket of the coat. Success! They were there! Without any delay, I unlocked the collar around my neck and threw it away, crashing to the floor in relief.

I kept my head down as I left Eulogy's house. I had literally minutes to spare. The snipers up on the towers must not have noticed anything, as they didn't shoot me. And thankfully I didn't bump into anyone. When I was out of sight of the snipers, hidden behind a large wall of rubble next to the pub, I made a dash for the back of the building where some whore had told me the location of the mine entrance used to be. I had to trade my last cigarettes for the information, but it was worth it. Eulogy kept me in supply, anyway. Well, he used to, at least.

"Jericho!" I cried. As I turned the corner, there he was, standing over a metal mesh that was buried in the ground. He must have gotten there before me. He was covered in blood.

"I see you managed to get that goddamn collar off! Now get it off me, too!" he ordered, dashing over to me and grabbing my shoulders. I nodded my head and smiled, retrieving the keys from my pocket. After I had taken it off, he didn't chuck it away like I did, but simply tied it to his belt, which held together a large pink dressed stained with blood and all sorts.

"The dress-" I began.

"Don't ask." He interrupted. He obviously hadn't had time to change his clothes.

"What do you need that collar for?" I asked innocently. "Some sort of sex game?"

I had seen what Eulogy got up to, and nothing surprised me.

"You'll see." He replied, as he began to kick in the metal grate leading down into the mines. "Got a weapon?"

"Yes, siree!" I replied, sweetly, brandishing a large revolver that I had found on Eulogy. Suddenly an alarm sounded out around the compound.

I quickly spun around, hearing shouting nearby.

"Find them!" I heard. "Kill them!" they added. They were not going to let us off easily for killing the boss! Without having a chance to think, Jericho grabbed my hand and pulled me down towards the entrance of the mines.

"Let's go, idiot!" he cried, pulling me into the entrance with him.

There was a little drop, but we landed safely on the soft mud beneath. All was pitch black, and the alarm echoed down a long chamber which spread out in front of us. Pulling out a flare seemingly from nowhere, Jericho lit it and ran down the chamber. Not wanting to get shot to pieces, I dashed on after him! As we ran down the chamber, we heard shouts coming from behind us. They had found us!

"There they are!" cried one of the slavers. "Shoot to kill!" he cried.

Me and Jericho both spun around, facing death itself. By sheer luck, the gunman's rifle had jammed, leaving Jericho with enough time to pull the slaver collar from his belt and throw it at them! It didn't hit them.

"You missed!" I sighed, loudly. "I guess we're going to die now." Oh, well, at least I wouldn't die a virgin.

"Not today!" he laughed back, wildly. With a well-aimed shot, he shot the collar, causing it to explode. Massively. The screams of the slavers echoed down the chamber as a wall of fire came rapidly towards us!

Jericho grabbed my hand once more and dragged me down the chamber. Screaming wildly as I had seen on the movies (thinking it may give me some sort of abnormal strength to run quicker), we both hurtled down the corridor as the wall of flames chased after us. Turning a corner, amazingly we could see light! The most loudest noise of falling water met with us as we drew closer to the source of the light, which was the end of the tunnel! The fire coming extremely close, we managed to reach the tunnel's exit, just in time to avoid being burnt to a crisp. We didn't realise, until it was too late, that the tunnel ended near the top of a large cliff. We both ran straight off the edge, the fire blasting out behind us. It was a long way down.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Away

It certainly was a long fall. Jumping out from the tunnel might not have been the best idea, but it certainly was better than being burnt to death! Thinking what I'd like my funeral song to be as we plunged down to earth, I glanced downwards.

"Jericho!" I tried to shout, but I couldn't get a word out my breath was so taken away!

Beneath us was a body of water, with a waterfall flowing into it! Obviously, the water was completely radiated, and shimmered with a green tint in the morning sunlight. Jericho must have seen it too, for he was screaming or shouting! I had never been so relieved in all my life.

Smiling as we plunged closer and closer to the body of water, I thanked Jericho silently for all his help. If it weren't for him, I'd be dead now! Perhaps even someone else's experiment!

All went black when I hit the water.

When I next opened my eyes, the sky was black. Night had fallen whilst I was unconscious. It seemed Jericho and I had washed up on the riverside somewhere. Thank Goodness! With all my strength, I crawled over to Jericho. I suddenly felt the urge to vomit; the radiated water must have poisoned us while we were floating in it. Quickly searching Eulogy's coat pockets, I rested my hand on a RadAway that he always kept on him; the alcoholic beverages he loved so much were just like any other liquid in this waste land, and he didn't want to grow a third arm!

Pulling the RadAway out of the pocket, I pushed a little button which unsheathed the needle, and placed it gently in a vein running down my left arm. I was careful not to use all of it, as Jericho needed it too! Still unconscious, but breathing, Jericho remained still as I administered the RadAway. It was strange injecting someone who was still alive!

While I waited for Jericho to wake up, I laid down and stared up at the night sky. Stars were shining brilliantly down on us. I was so happy that we had escaped! I wanted nothing more than to go back to my shop and lie down on my bed, my teddy bear hugged close to me!

Suddenly I remembered about the Wasteland Life Guide I was writing. Perhaps being a slave had its benefits? I could use this for my guide! Wow! What luck I had!

A cough came from beside me; Jericho was awake! With glee I shook him fully awake.

"Oh, Jericho! Good morning!" I giggled. "How do you feel?"

"Ugh…" he coughed and spluttered. He pulled out a packet of cigarettes from a makeshift pocket on his pink dress. They were all soaking wet. "Shit." He spat.

"Oh, well." I smiled, happy to see he was still himself.

"Where the fuck are we?" he asked, weakly. He rubbed his shaved head; he must have been sore. "Oh, my head's killing me." He moaned.

"Hehe. Reminds me of when I was looking for a headache cure." I laughed, reminiscing about the past.

"I could sure use one now!"

"Well," I began, "I would love to help you, but I lost the scalpel."

"Don't ever fucking come near me with a scalpel, you hear?" he muttered, angrily. I nodded my head; it seemed most people were rather stern with me whenever I mentioned scalpels and my 'cures'!

"Do you think those slavers are looking for us?"

"No doubt 'bout that. As long as we got that revolver…"

"We don't have that revolver. We lost it in the water." I smiled, sweetly.

"What _do _we have?"

"Well…" I sighed, "…this little snub-nosed pistol that I got from Ymir."

"Do _not _mention that name to me again!" he barked, taking me by surprise.

"Oh, sorry." I giggled, suddenly remembering that Jericho and Ymir now had history. "He's dead, by the way. I'm sorry!"

Jericho stared at me angrily.

"Gimme that coat!" he ordered, almost ripping it off me. "I'm freezing!"

"Okay, okay."

Several hours had passed since we had awoken up on the riverside. Jericho, with all his worldly knowledge, ascertained that we had washed up just south of Arefu. Which meant that Megaton was not that far away at all! Beaming with happiness as I skipped along, Jericho muttered once or twice about how crazy he thought I was, but I didn't mind; I was so happy that soon I would be in my bed!

We continued walking down the river, south-east towards Megaton. Jericho hadn't spoken to me for a while, nor I him. It seemed like there was nothing really to say; I suppose we were both just so happy to be free from being slaves. At the start I really had no idea whether or not I'd be free, ever again. Perhaps the other slaves would escape too, now with Eulogy dead. We both had been subjected to things neither of us would want to speak about. My will to speak was too strong, however. And when I saw Megaton on the horizon, I just couldn't help screaming and shouting!

Running through Springvale toward Megaton, I ignored Jericho's questions about the large, dead, blonde giant that lay still in the middle of the town and sped towards my hometown. I could sleep in my bed! I could see my shop's assistant! I could open the shop again! Usually, opening the shop was just a way for me to make money to fund my experiments, but I hadn't realised before what a joy it was! The sun started to rise as I hastened toward my beloved Megaton once more.

I sat behind the counter, chewing my fingernails. Yesterday we had got back to Megaton, and without saying a word to me, Jericho had ran to the nearest bar for a drink. I chewed off a hangnail on my ring finger and cast my thoughts to Jericho. I wondered if he would attempt to sleep with Nova again. However, if he felt anything like I did after that slave incident, it would be a long time before I wanted to sleep with anyone.

I glanced over at the clock on the wall, it read 10:34a.m. My shop had been open for only half an hour! Kicking back and leaning my chair against the wall behind me, I smiled at the hired gun man who looked after my shop for me. He didn't smile back, just pulled out a pouch of tobacco and started rolling himself a cigarette. Instantly I wanted one! All those cigarettes I had smoked whilst being a slave and travelling with Jericho had got me hooked. Although I knew the effects of tobacco on the human body, it didn't deter me much; there were so many things in this world that could kill me long before I got lung cancer anyway.

"Will you roll _me _a cigarette, please?" I asked as sweetly as possible. He moved his eyes to look at me from his hands, which were carefully placing tobacco in a rolling paper.

"Is this some kind of 'Moira' joke?" he asked. He obviously hadn't known about my new habit!

"Not at all!" I smiled, jumping from my chair and rushing up to him. He backed away a little and looked at me kinda funny. I hope he didn't crave for my affection, too! Batting my eyelids at him as I asked him again, he agreed to give me a cigarette. Maybe he did like me! He was very handsome, but not my type, so I decided I wouldn't lead him on further! It would be best to remain just friends, especially considered we shared the same workplace! I didn't want to be one of those _sleazy _bosses who _bedded _her workers!

As I stood outside my shop smoking a rolled cigarette, I leant over the railings out front and watched the day go by. The local sheriff, Lucas Simms, ambled back and forth through the town, on the lookout for crime. The preacher down near the Atom Bomb continued to preach. Nova the prostitute went in and out of the saloon, always a drink in her hand. Megaton hadn't changed a bit in the week I had been away! Pulling out a notepad from my coat pocket, I began to scribble down ideas for the Wasteland Life Guide again; how lucky I was to be enslaved! All this information! My notes were pretty unreadable to anyone who may chance upon them, but I understood them; I was looking forward to sitting down at my typewriter later on and writing out all my stories in full! This would be the best guide yet!

Suddenly Jericho caught my eye as he left the Saloon. He hadn't seen me yet, so I continued to watch him as he walked towards his home.

"I'll be back." I said to my armed helper, who stood by the shop's entrance smoking a cigarette.

Although I would never usually abandon my shop like this, I wanted to be in Jericho's company. We had been through a lot together, and it felt nice to have somebody to depend on! I banged on his door three times and waited patiently. He didn't take so long to answer the door this time.

"What do _you_ want?" he said flatly, after opening the door. Pushing my way inside his house, I turned around to face him and smiled.

"Isn't it good to be back?" I asked.

"Yeah!" he suddenly smiled, enthusiastically! He must have mellowed! "It's great to be back in such a shit hole like this!" he continued. Maybe not.

"Oh, cheer up!" I squealed.

"What _did _you want, anyway?"

What did I want? I didn't know. To see him, talk to him, share time with him. It would sound silly to say those things, however. I struggled to find an answer.

"Well?" he pushed further. I didn't want to embarrass myself further, nor could I really explain to him what I wanted, as I wasn't so sure myself.

"I, uh.." I began, stumbling with my words.

"_Yes?" _he asked, sternly.

"I'm throwing a party!" I suddenly exclaimed, out of nowhere. I don't know _where _I got that one from!

"…a party?"

"Yes! To celebrate… our freedom! Yes! I am hosting a Freedom Party! There'll be food! Dancing! Wine! Cigarettes!" All these ideas were suddenly flowing into my head! I could throw a party to celebrate us escaping from the slavers! And I could incorporate it into my guide, too! One _must _throw a party sometime in one's life! I could imagine the chapters: how to throw a party! How to make a decent meal! How to dance! I didn't really _know _any of these things, but I could learn.

"You're serious about throwing a party?" he asked, condescendingly.

"Yes!" I cried. I was never so sure of anything in my life! "I'll make the arrangements and send you an invitation somewhen this week!"

Before he could reply, I hugged him goodbye (much to his violent dismay), and ran back to the shop.

Inside the shop, I had a customer waiting at the counter! She turned around when I entered, her hand on her hip; had she been waiting long? I wondered. It was Jenny Stahl, the local food flogger who lived near the Doc's house.

"Oh!" I smiled. "Can I help you?"

She shifted about a little, apparently nervous about something. She kept glancing over at my hired gunman.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No!" she suddenly exclaimed. "I just needed a frying pan. My one has rusted through completely."

"Oh. I'm sure I've got one lying around somewhere. Give me a moment."

Running to the back of the shop, the frying pan which was hung up over some dirty towels instantly caught my eye. It was in relatively good condition, so I thought I would sell it for 20 caps. As I reached to pull it down, I heard the shop door open and close, the little bell above the door ringing sweetly. I had found the bell on a dead Brahmin I had discovered one day in the Wasteland. I felt sorry for it, and decided I would keep the bell to honour its memory! Going back to the shop front, frying pan in hand, I saw that Jenny had gone. I looked over at my hired gunman, who simply shrugged his shoulders.

Little did I know that Ms Stahl and I would be crossing paths again very soon…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: The Party

What a marvellous idea! A special party to celebrate our freedom! I would use any old excuse to get all the people in the town together and celebrate in style; ever since that night with the music gig, I always liked hanging around other people. Even as a slave, I would leisurely spend the day with the other whores. This party was not going to be easily organised, however.

With not only the arrangements to worry about, I also had to keep an eye on writing my notes for my Life Guide; in addition to maintaining my 'closer' friendships. Every day since we came back to Megaton, I saw Jericho at Moriarty's Saloon, drinking and cavorting with Nova, the resident prostitute. I took my time to look at her once, to see what she had that drew Jericho so. She was quite tall, and had the extra height of those red high heel shoes she always wore. They stood out, as only one had a buckle to fasten it to her shoe. The other shoe had had makeshift repairs of clue and cardboard. This, alongside her red, silky corset, black leather jacket and red, leather mini-skirt, added much to the image of 'gypsy harlot'; there was certainly something exotic about her!

Once, on an evening where I had nothing to do but hand roll cigarettes over and over, I had pulled out a few dresses that I had "acquired" over the years, and took the time to dress myself in them. Glancing in the mirror with one dress, that was a black, silken nightgown-type thing, I couldn't help but feel a sexier me coming out! It excited me to think that just by looking differently I could tease Jericho and manipulate him innocently. Other times I would scold myself for losing focus on my shop and the experiments I once used to do.

The only experiment I had conducted this week was 'Learning to Look at Pain a Different Way', with the help of 'voluntary' subjects from the local orphanage, ran by that sweet old lady who is married to the old patriot guy! That was a very exciting experiment, as it could revolutionise the world! StimPaks would no longer be needed! The 'subjects' came through the tests brilliantly – after a few hours of 'voluntary visual-psycho exercises'.

As I sat inside my bedroom, my shop locked for the evening, I finished off the last of the invitations. Initially I had intended to invite the whole town, but realised what hard work it would be to organise so many people! I would never get the guide done!

The five people I had invited were Nova (keep your friends close, and your enemies closer); Jericho (it wouldn't be entirely unpleasant if he weren't to come to the party); Lucas Simms (just in case Nova started kicking off); Gob (I liked him) and Doc Church (how cool would it be to be in favour of the local doctor! Discounts! Organ donations for my experiments!).

The party was scheduled to start at 9p.m., tomorrow, in my shop. I spent a lot of hours decorating it with festive items from the pre-war, like Christmas Trees, flags of various countries, streamers, confetti, anything I could think of! Too bad there was nothing to play music with, but I could always sing for my guests! Man, I get such a reaction when I start doing that, I just can't help myself!

When it came to food, I decided to use up some of the caps I had saved to invest in a banquet, prepared by Megaton's very own food shop, ran by that strange woman Jenny Stahl. It was quite odd when I went to talk to her about it. Her shop was open, so I went inside, and saw her standing behind the bar, washing a dirty metal jug, that was used as a spittoon for the elderly folk. As soon as she saw me, her initial smile had faded into a dark frown. This woman obviously didn't like me!

"Um," I began, a bit hesitant with the cold reception I received. "Hi!" Now was not the time to be anxious, I had a party to run. "I need you to make some food for a party I'm throwing; paid for, of course."

She placed the spittoon down on the bar and nodded her head, grunting as she did so. Saying nothing, she went into the back and shouted up to her brother, who rushed on down. "Take her order." She spat, with the emphasis of disgust on 'her'. What had I done to upset this woman? Had I experimented on one of her relatives? Rendered her infertile with my 'radioactive food' experiments? Whatever it was, I doubt she would tell me.

After filling out my order with her brother, at a cost of about 400 caps, I staggered back to my house, exhausted after running about all day. All I wanted to do was have a cigarette and fall asleep. Lazily pulling a cigarette out from its packet, I put it in my mouth and crashed down onto my turpentine stained mattress. Sighing deeply, I didn't even get time to light it before I had fallen asleep, deep into exotic dreams!

0*0*0

The morning had come, and my sight was met with the sunrise through the netting of my bedroom window. Rolling over onto my side, I exhaled deeply and stretched out my limbs a little. A good stretch is always welcome! Taking out the broken cigarette from my mouth, I reached out for a button that was on top of my bedside table. The button turned on my own personal invention! A personal coffee maker! Upon pushing the button, it uses a system of levels and pulleys to put coffee grains into a cup and then boiling water, adding milk afterwards. It always put in just the right amount of sugar, too. This was my only luxury; I would always put purified water and milk into my coffee. The Brahmin didn't mind; they didn't need to have calves to make delicious Brahmin milk!

Sipping lightly at my hot coffee, my heart beat wildly as I thought about today's party. The invitation was explicit:

_Hey! If you're reading this then you, lucky person, have been invited to the Craterside Supply Shop's Party of Freedom, sponsored by the Craterside Supply Centaur, our lovable mascot! So, get that tongue back in your mouth and find a fancy costume to wear to the party, where the liquor never stops pouring, the hookers are easy (I'm looking at you, Nova!) and cigarettes are free! _

_Friday, 9 o'clock, RSVP_

I had tried to make the invitation as appealing as possible; with the abundance of alcoholics and chain smokers on my guest list, they were sure to take the bait.

0*0*0

I glanced into my bedroom mirror, smiling as I eyed up the costume I had chosen to wear. It was the most fabulous costume I had ever worn! Using the corpses of a few molerats, I had fashioned myself a complete Molerat suit, complete with its own tail! I was sure to be the envy of many a guest tonight! Earlier in the day, Jenny's brother, who wasn't that bad-looking actually, came to deliver and set up the food. He was such a nice man! He even winked at me as he left! He said his name was Leo, and informed that they were only half-brother and sister. I thought it was sweet seeing families so close! After he had left, I watched the door he had closed behind him. He certainly had left an impression on me; that wink was to die for!

The hour was approaching, and soon my guests would be arriving soon.

It promised to be an eventful evening.


End file.
